For many years, I felt like the universe had made a mistake.
When making plans at age 18 to do an overnight visit at my now alma mater, I was adamant that I stay in a sorority and see what real life was like living in a sorority house. In fact, when looking at colleges, I refused to attend any schools that didn’t have sorority houses. I was enamored with the idea of living in a house full of sisters. So, when I set up my overnight visit to Illinois Wesleyan, I made sure to request that the overnight portion be at a Greek house. My request was granted and a girl from AGD showed me around, let me shadow her in classes, and stay in their dormer overnight.
I was smitten. After that visit, I knew that I was going to IWU and I knew that I was going to going to join AGD. But, when Bid Day came, AGD turned me down. I got my second choice. And that was the first time I felt like the universe had made a mistake. I cried and cried. But, I accepted the offer of my second choice. And I thrived for the first two years there. Until, I met a boy. That boy took me out of my fun-loving self and into his world. And, for some unknown reason, I left my own world willingly. I left the friends I’d made with no kicking or screaming – from either the friends or from me.
And when those friends didn’t kick or scream for me not to leave, I continued to feel that the universe had made a mistake.
I left college with nary a friend. And two months after graduation, I also didn’t have a boyfriend.
I’ve had glimmers of hope that maybe the universe hadn’t actually made a mistake, including when I tried to start an alum chapter while living in Ottawa, when I met a couple of Kappas in Hong Kong, and when I joined a Kappa book club in Chicago. Alas, they were only glimmers and not a full shining light.
I’ve been jealous for years and years of the friendships other girls made while at college. I continued to feel that the universe had messed up. I wasn’t meant to be in this sorority – whether as a college student or an alum.
My latest glimmer of hope, though, has lasted for 18 months (quite a long glimmer, if you ask me) in the form of an alum group in Oak Park and River Forest, the darling community I now call home.
When I went to my first event, I met nearly 20 women who adored each other. One alum was receiving her 60-year pin which meant 60 years ago she’d been initiated into Kappa and was STILL attending events with her sorority sisters. And every 2-3 months, I continue to attend these events, laughing and swelling with admiration for the women who’ve welcomed me with open arms.
Tonight, in fact, eight of us sat around a table drinking wine, eating too much Italian food, and sharing our life stories. So while yesterday I was still feeling like the universe had made a mistake and put me in the wrong sorority, tonight I feel like maybe, just maybe the universe got it right.