Category Archives: Dating

6 Things I’m Learning about Relationships from Owning a Dog

I am infamously bad at romantic relationship and/or I have had infamously unsuccessful romantic relationships. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t seem to get it right. My (non-romantic) relationship with Bruno, the wonder dog, has been pretty darn successful, though. The past four months of dog ownership have been both challenging and super great. Bruno is seriously adorable and he loves me like crazy (can you say mama’s boy?!). Might I dare say, that I love Bruno more than any man I’ve ever dated???? I mean, how could you not with a face like this?

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And even though he’s a dog and I’m a hooman, I think I’m learning quite a great deal about how to have a relationship with people, romantic or otherwise.

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New Dating App: Doggie Dating

I’ve considered posting in the dog groups I’m in on Facebook or Meetup if there are any single guys wanting to go on a doggie date with me – one where we both bring our dogs and see if all 4 of us are compatible. {Side note: If you couldn’t tell by the fact that I’m writing about a new dating app, my date on Sunday wasn’t so great: he was 10 minutes late, texting me AT the time we were supposed to meet that he was running late; we talked about the weather for a good 30 minutes; and I ended the date by saying, “I don’t go out past 9pm because that’s my dog’s bedtime” lol lol.}

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My Life in the Suburbs

I knew that when I moved to Oak Park, my life was going to be a tiny bit lonelier. While living in Chicago, my calendar was full with friends, volunteering, yoga, and dates (with dumb idiots).

  • By moving out to the *suburbs*, I realized that I’d see friends less since it’s a {rather small} trek.
  • I am no longer tutoring since it’s a {rather small} trek to get back home from the location.
  • Though I still teach yoga on Saturday mornings, it’s the only class I’m teaching at the moment. 
  • Yup, I’m still going on dumb dates with dumb idiots; in fact, the first one in a while is tonight (which probably means I should wait to post this so you can get the live update on how it went since I’m sure you’re waiting with baited breath on news of my dating life…). 

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The One-Hour First Date

I’m about to embark on my 4th first date in as many days, thanks in part to the great social experiment of 2018 (version 2.0).

First dates are exhausting, especially when you are definitely NOT a match with someone and you know within the first 5 seconds of meeting him. Not only is it the prep time before the date, but the date itself can last hours if you’re not careful. Side bar: This also means I’m advocating for setting up the first date ASAP so you’re not wasting too much time in anticipation.

One time, I was on a date with someone I really didn’t want to be on a date with (and to answer the question you’re probably asking: I thought I wanted to be on the date with him before the date, but not after we actually met and started talking #nofire). We had our obligatory one drink, and as soon as I took my last gulp, he asked if I wanted another round. I turned to the window and it immediately started pouring down rain. Buckets, I tell you! “Sure, I’ll stay for another!” It certainly gave him the wrong impression since he texted me afterwards asking for another date, but I had walked there and was potentially without an umbrella.

So, what if instead of me relenting, a giant buzzer had sounded after 1 hour? Like an extended speed date.

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The Heart of the Heart

Recently, I met a boy. Huge shocker that I’m writing about it, yes, I know. This time, though, something different has happened. Our first date was pretty great; we met for drinks and stayed until the bar closed. Both of us knew – because we both said it out loud later – that the chemistry between us was unlike something we’d felt in a long time. And I don’t mean just physical chemistry. I mean the kind of chemistry that when he would talk, I would listen; he would get my full attention; we didn’t need phones or drinks or anything else to make the conversation work with ease.

I’ve written before about what I’m looking for in a mate, and after multiple years and multiple dating articles both read and written, I think my former list was rather shallow. Or maybe instead of shallow, it was incomplete. It didn’t get to the heart of the heart.

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4. Be prepared for the tests.

After brunching with some girlfriends recently, one of them sent me an article titled “How to Manifest Your Dream Relationship” in response to the topic we always find ourselves talking about: men. Mainly, the never-ending stream of weird men in my life because both of these lovely ladies have lovely men in their lives who don’t do or say weird shit.

As I read through the the list, #1 & #2 were easily checked off.

  1. Know your worth – check. My family, friends, and therapist help keep me grounded on this one.
  2. Know what you want – and also what you don’t – check. I’ve talked about it in a blog post about my Top 5 “Most Wanted List” and I’ve been on enough dates to know what’s right for me and what’s not, despite being admittedly bad at sticking by that wisdom.
  3. Think small. This is hard for me because I always write a story in my head (and sometimes on my computer) about the guys I meet. But, I will confess, I am working on this. My big project is no longer “getting married”, but a bite-sized chew of “move to Oak Park and find a man who’s okay with that”.

The real epiphany happened when I read #4: Be prepared for the tests.

Continue reading 4. Be prepared for the tests.