Squeaky Floors

Usually when I write my titles, I try to come up with something witty to describe the situation, but this time my title is the flat out truth. I guess I could’ve called this “Pulling my Hair Out” because that’s what squeaky floors make me want to do on a daily basis, but I think the honest truth here works. 

It all started the morning after I moved into my new apartment. With bright eyes and a smile, I woke up before my alarm, having just gotten 8 straight hours of glorious sleep. I was back on my old mattress and fate was most certainly telling me that I’d made the right choice in apartments. 

Two days later one of my roommates walks in the house sobbing; she and her boyfriend just broke up. The next morning at 5:30am, the torture began…she was actually home in the morning instead of frolicking at her boyfriend’s, which means she had to walk on her incredibly creaky floors. That also means I was awake with her at 5:30am…for an hour and a half. I was awake before my alarm again, but there was no smile and no bright eyes. Because my flatmate and her bf stayed broken up, she has had to sleep in her bed, and walk on her floors, and wake me up every day for the last month and a half at an ungodly hour. 

So yea, maybe “Pulling my Hair Out” would’ve been a good name for this post. 

Here’s what I’ve done so far so as not to go crazy:

1.    Ask my dad what he thinks could be done. He said the hardwood underneath could use a few more nails. Rip the carpet up and get ‘er done.

2.    Tell these ideas to my landlord, attempting not to whine, but pleading to the best of my ability. He says he’ll think about it. Then proceeds to tell me that if I just think about sleeping through the noise before bed, that after 10-14 days it will no longer bother me. He did a study when he was in college…70 years ago…and it worked back then. 

3.    Try the crazy guy’s suggestion…doesn’t work…of course. 

4.    Politely inquire if my roommate cannot organize her closet at half past 5 in the morning. She agrees, but continues to walk in a circle around her room every day.

5.    Play my radio everyday at 5:30 to help me fall back asleep. Instead, I hear Kenny Chesney over and over again just below the din of the squeaks. 

6.    Call the landlord again, this time with a bit more whine. Tell him that the study he did in the past did not work on me. He says he’s considering his options. 

7.    Consider moving out every morning at the crack of dawn, but rethink that because I’ve already moved 12 times in 15 years. 

8.    Put a white noise machine on my Christmas list and hope that Santa thinks that I’ve been a good girl this year. 

9.    A suggestion of your choosing would be especially helpful before I go bald.

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