On “Rock Center with Brian Williams” last week, Gabby Reece (the ever-famous volleyball player) was featured for the new book she wrote about her marriage. In it, she states that to make her marriage successful, she takes on the women’s role commonly thought of as old-fashioned: the subservient person fulfilling her husband’s and family’s needs. That includes the cleaning, cooking, organizing the household, etc. She claims that doing all of this without complaining makes their relationship stronger. Instead of arguing about who takes out the garbage, she just does it without being told. But does this make their partnership unequal? What role does her husband play in the relationship? Even if she doesn’t want to wash the dishes tonight, must she? How can she not complain all the freakin’ time?!
As a strong female who believes in both equality and chivalry, I have a very hard time believing that women should do everything. Why should I work all day, then come home and do all of the work for everyone else? What happened to pitching in so everyone is happy and everyone takes ownership of his or her belongings?
Because of this, I should have been incensed by the claims, though as I was watching, I was definitely intrigued. I am a strong female with a loud mouth who complains too much and is entirely too sensitive about everything. I’m selfish and want things to go my way because of course I’m right…always. Damn, I know this about myself and in the same token recognize the ill ways of my behavior.
So, maybe I do need to become more receptive and submissive. Not that I should do everything for everyone, but to benefit me in the long run, I could bite my tongue when I’m told to do something or given criticism. I’m not proposing that I don an apron and slather duct tape over my mouth, but maybe being quiet every once in a while would help me to chill out (yes, it’s been 4 months since I made my New Year’s resolution and I’m still figuring that out!). Wouldn’t it be great if I was less temperamental and more passive? Wouldn’t people like being around me more? Might I get into fewer arguments with my mom and my boyfriend if I just shut up every so often?
So while I’ll never act like or be someone’s servant, maybe I can be more contemplative in order to see not only a change in myself but in how I treat others and how others respond to me.