To: Universe

From: Ashley

Subject: Settling Down

Most people I know are settled down – whether it’s in their role of parent, wife, teacher, husband, Sycamore resident, etc. I am definitely not one of those people. And honestly, the idea of settling is a bit unnerving; it’s committing to something or somewhere or someone for forever. Since I left for college at 18, I have yet to find a place to call my own or a man to call my own – mine forever. Despite it being a bit scary, settling down is the recurring thought that permeates my before-sleep-thoughts and my dreams. I picture my life in the future while waiting for sleep to come and it always involves me being in love or married and with the perfect job.

I don’t think I’m scared to settle down, I think it’s unnerving because it’s something I’m afraid I’ll never get. Yes, I know most of you reading this are rolling your eyes at my pessimism and having your fingers prepped to say, “Of course you’ll fall in love with a place and with someone!” But my roving mind has yet to find a place that feels right for me or a guy who likes me more than I like him. In less than a month, I’ll be 29 and in those 29 years I’ve lived a blessed and happy existence. When I think about major complaints regarding the last 3 decades, I don’t have very many…except for the fact that I’m ready to fall in love with a town and with a guy. I’m ready…the open door is here and I’m ready. Without a concrete future life plan, now is the perfect time. Maybe I had to live my great life and give my wandering eye and wandering brain some attention before I knew that I was ready.

So, universe, I’m putting it out there to you: help me find my next step. Help me find who’s right and where’s right so this happy existence can continue while settling down (not settling). No more floating, no more roaming, I’m ready to be brought home. I’ll help, I’ll do what I can to make the process easier, but some guiding words or flashing neon signs would be nice too. Namaste universe.

Even as a kid, playing games wasn’t really my thing.  No dodge ball and definitely not Nintendo. Boys, on the other hand, loved games…and judging by the guys I’ve met and/or dated in the past few years, they still love to play games – only now it’s with girls’ hearts. It seems like almost an impossible feat for guys to be open and honest, for them to fall in love or at least be open to the possibility of it.  What happened to the days when you said what you felt and you did what you said you were going to do?

At 28 years old, I’ve dated my fare share of guys, with a rough estimate of 80% of them who aren’t honest about what they want or what they’re feeling.  If you know me at all, you know that honesty has never been a very difficult task for me (in fact, I’m a terrible liar!), so when I give someone my honest feelings, I expect the same courtesy in return.  Guys, is it so hard to express your feelings? Does a cat really tear apart your tongue every time the truth tries to escape?

Maybe the reason I keep meeting game players is because they aren’t the one. The right guy for me will call when he says, text when he’ll be late, send flowers when he misses me, take me on dates, ask me questions and listen attentively; he’ll be open about his feelings and won’t shut out mine.  And he’ll do all of this because he wants to, not because I ask him to.  I don’t play games and I don’t want my man to either (unless of course it’s baseball).  And if he does, he ain’t the right man for me.  Been there, done that, lost that game more times than I dare to admit.