I am a stickler for good grammar and spelling. Whether it’s on Facebook, in an email, a text, and especially on dating sites, if your grammar and spelling suck, I’m judging. Maybe that’s unfair, but 6 years as a teacher, 5 of which were teaching the basics of the English language, and 1.5 years as an editor have made me the grammar police. That being said, reading online profiles and messages from adults can be traumatizing to my inner English snob. To help the guys hoping to woo me over the Internet, here’s a list of some grammar must-haves.

5 ways to win over an editor and former third grade teacher:

1. I is always spelled with a capital letter when you’re referring to oneself or me. It is never i’m, ever.

2. Homophones are tricky words to spell; I taught third grade so, believe me, I know. But basic knowledge of your v. you’re and to, too, and two is a rite of passage…from elementary school. And for the love of god, some is never spelled sum unless you’re doing some addition.

3. Emails are not typically formal on dating sites, but it never hurts to add a salutation and/or closing. All the adults are doing it.

4. Complete sentences are a must. If your third grade teacher let you pass onto fourth grade, this is definitely a lesson you’ve encountered. Subject + predicate = complete sentence!

5. Periods, capitals, and grade school spelling are all a basic life lesson. Use them wisely and all the time.

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago when I was frustrated with the lack of elementary knowledge in the online messages I’d received. Having recently dug it up, I’m appalled that I needed to write this; I had the same expectations from nine-year-olds, so isn’t it ridiculous that I need to tell an adult to do the same things?