Before we begin, I have a confession to make: I went back to online dating. But, I swear, it’s not what you think. Before rape joke guy and before my trip to Costa Rica in September, I heard about a dating app called The League. It was touted as being “exclusive” since there’s a waiting list, and it connects to both your LinkedIn and Facebook profiles to prove that you’re legit (no bots there!).
I joined aforementioned waiting list BEFORE I had forsaken online dating, so when the email came through two months later and two weeks ago that I had been “accepted,” I was pretty hesitant to say yes. Maybe, though, this was the universe’s way of saying, “Don’t give up on dating/online dating just yet!” so I hit the install button. I mean, I was grandfathered into this decision!
Continue reading The League + Marathon First Dates
Dear Lindy and Roxane,
Thank you for giving me the vehicle for finding out what a horrible man my date last night was. Before we even met in real life, let’s call him Rod, Rod made a “joke” about how he was going to bring “rufies” to our first date. I told him it was a terrible, terrible joke and that hopefully he was smacking himself on the forehead right at that moment. He couldn’t possibly have been serious, and certainly he was embarrassed by his lack of tact about a topic that IS. NOT. FUNNY. Of course, I knew this before I read both of your books (Lindy’s Shrill & Roxane’s Bad Feminist), but after having read both of your accounts about the absolutely not funny Daniel Tosh (watch this video to see more about the reference below), I felt empowered to have a conviction, that even if it’s a “joke”, rape isn’t funny, and pretending to bring a drug that allows you to rape someone isn’t funny.
Continue reading Rape Jokes Aren’t Funny
Since I’ve taken a break from free online dating sites, my brain constantly works on a mental super-profile (like a super computer, not just great, but can do it ALL!). In these past few months, I’ve read multiple articles on dating, listened to podcasts, and had bitch sessions with both single and married gal pals that gave me ideas on the “perfect” profile. And then, Meghan Trainor’s tune Dear Future Husband hit the airwaves and I knew that my super-profile would be great and honest and all about the quirkiness that is me. One problem: I’m not on online dating sites at the moment, so instead, I’m sharing this on my blog!
Continue reading Dear Future Husband
While waiting to fall asleep when I was a kid, I dreamed up my future – what color house I’d have, whether or not there’d be a picket fence, how many children would be invading the front lawn, and what my husband’s profession would be. If you’ve read even one of my blog posts, you know that my life has not even remotely ended up this way.
Now I dream of more tangible things – items I can actually work toward – trips, volunteering, and living abroad again. I can’t make someone love me or make a perfect match magically appear, but I can practice Spanish for the dream trip to Ecuador I’d like to take. I can email organizations and ask them for raffle donations for charities for which I’m on the board. I can research the cheapest flight to Fort Lauderdale and NYC so I can meet my HK friends. There’s a lot I can do, but procuring a mate just doesn’t happen to be one of them.
Continue reading Dream a Little Dream for Me
I’ve been on a free online dating site hiatus for over 6 weeks and it’s been gloriously freeing. The whole not wasting my time swiping left and right, reading dumb messages, and rolling my eyes at the lack of ingenuity is fantasmo. The only thing is…I haven’t been on a date in 6 weeks. I am officially the most single (the singlest?) I’ve ever been.
I’ve been stuck behind a computer screen for so long, that I’m a real life Bambi on ice.
Continue reading I’m a Real Life Bambi on Ice
It took me 2.5 years of riding the free online dating roller coaster to realize that it’s time to get off, that maybe I shouldn’t have been on it for so long. Somehow this roller coaster has mostly been downs, without a lot of inclines. Somehow this roller coaster was never-ending; I didn’t once step off it. It slowed down to pick up passengers and to let them off quickly thereafter, but in 2.5 years I personally never disembarked. Instead, that stomach-in-your-throat, scream-‘til-it-hurts feeling prevailed. Until January 26. This is the day I decided to take a real break from free online dating sites and apps. The more I’ve analyzed this decision, the more I’ve realized that I made the absolute right choice. Never again shall a free dating app be brought up in my phone’s App Store.
Nearly every single man I’ve met online and I were misaligned. Not because we were incompatible (because sometimes we were), but because we were inherently very different people wanting very different things. I am an old soul, an old-fashioned girl who wants to get married and have a family. I’ve wanted it from the time I was 20. There’s no need to mess about and date many men, I just want one. The guys I meet online are not the same. They’re okay with modern dating, defined, I’ve recently discovered, to mean dating multiple people at the same time; to let our roller coasters run concurrently for a brief moment in time while 2 or 4 or 8 other girls’ coasters tag along. That isn’t me. And it never will be.
And while it took me a while to get off the tracks, I’m glad I am finally free of the twists and turns. I do so with a little trepidation that maybe I’m making a big mistake and my one true love is in fact waiting for me on Tinder because where else could I find him?! Though probably not because a man who wants to date three girls at the same time, isn’t the man for me.