In college, I made a whole mess of mistakes when it came to my dating life…most specifically when dating a guy for two years and I never again slept in my own bed, forgot all of my friends, quit the cheerleading squad, and isolated myself from the general populous. As soon as I met him, I focused on “we” and never again on “me” – the largest mistake I’ve ever made in my life…ever!
Since we broke up, I haven’t been in a real, true relationship until now. I casually dated while secretly (well, not always so secret if you read my blog in Hong Kong…) hoping that the right guy would sweep me off my feet. It was a long seven years, but my feet have officially been swept. Mario is a wonderful man and we’ve grown to really care for one another. Recently, though, I’ve noticed myself falling into my same “we” routine. I sleep in my own bed most nights, have minimal friends to lose, no cheerleading squad to abandon, and haven’t gone so far as to shun myself away. That being said, I’m catching myself making Mario the center of my attention. Not only would that be history repeating itself in a very, very bad way, but it has the potential to lead to Mario’s suffocation…and I quite like him so I’d like to keep him alive for a while.
So…how does one stop the crazy and get her own life?? Damn if I know, but I’m dead set on making it right. I don’t want to lose the “me” I’ve grown into the past few years, so here’s the plan:
First, I made a list of all the things I want to do by myself, including fulfilling and happiness-inducing activities:
1. Yoga – quite obvious, but I’ve been neglecting it in my life lately. I’d like to go at least twice a week, if not more. Not only do I want the exercise, yoga makes me calmer, more stress-free, and smilier.
2. Ballet – I took ballet classes for many years growing up and even tried it in Hong Kong. I wouldn’t mind donning some ballet shoes and practicing my plies again. Plus, my booty will get toned – bonus!
3. Become a Big Sister – I’ve applied to the program and have orientation today. It’ll give me purpose and a chance to be around kiddos again.
4. Yoga teacher training – yes, I know that I’ve just gotten my certificate but there’s another level I can work toward. So I’m meeting up with an advisor soon to hear more. It’s definitely not a done deal, but a possibility after I get myself back in shape (see #1).
5. Merengue classes – I’ve always liked dancing and have pretty good rhythm for a white girl. Why not try something my boyfriend is good at so we can do it together. Bonding!!!
7. Spanish classes – my Latino love may have some influence here, but again why not learn something that’ll bring us closer together? And I’d like to be able to have a conversation with his parents someday down the road…
8. Writing or proofing – Sassy Hong Kong was good for me; I found a lifelong passion, all while making new friends and trying new things. I believe it’s time to bust out CraigsList and Google to see what I can find.
And while this list is great, it doesn’t mean anything if I don’t act on it. So now I need a plan of action. Idea #1: Mario plays on a volleyball league two nights a week which means I also have two nights a week to do something I like. My plan is to go to beach yoga (thanks, Groupon!) those days, followed by an online Spanish lesson at home. The other activities on the list are mine to research and embrace in order to make me a better / happier person and a more independent partner.
Cheers to becoming “me”!