Mr. League and I went on a 2nd date; this date, too, was a marathoner: a whopping 7 hours long! But after two marathon dates (totaling 13 hours), Mr. League vanished. Well, he didn’t complete fade into thin air like a ghost, but he did sorta just disappear intermittently. After a week of barely any conversation, I finally asked him if he wanted to hang out again…like ever. His response:
I do have a lot cooking right now, so I’m trying to keep some balance. Let me swing back to you when I’m ready.
Right…so while you’re chopping, stirring, and cooking, I’ll just twiddle my fingers and wait patiently. I’ll be on your timetable. No problemo.
A guy I dated several years ago has also popped up into my life this year. Once in June, then again in October, and back once more this month. Just, ya know, checking in, making sure I’m still available. My friend tells me he wants me to be in his back pocket – just in case – like a back-up in case other girls don’t work out. We don’t go on dates per se, but he asks me to hang out and he pays. We don’t kiss. We don’t hold hands. And we definitely never make it to the bedroom. But we talk like we’re on a date.
So, my friends, with the recent influx of guys who just wanna date me when they wanna date me, I’m coining a new term: convenient dating.
I’m not saying this is inherently or wholly bad, but it certainly does not bode well for getting married any time this century. It does mean absolutely no commitment. It does mean absolutely no feelings.
This idea of hanging out when it’s convenient for one person is not a new concept. I have a couple of girlfriends who only text when they’re single or only text when everyone else is busy. I have one friend in particular who is conveniently my friend when she wants to be my friend.
Part of me wants to say, “Screw this! I’m over being someone’s friend/girlfriend/date only when they want to be.” The other part of me doesn’t want to let go of someone liking me or someone else to pay attention to me. So what if I just see my ex-boyfriend for a free drink a couple of times a year? He’s interesting and we have good chat. So what if Mr. League has too many pots to stir at the same time? He’s a good kisser and we have a lot in common. So what if a few friends only text me when they’re single? They’re funny and it’s fun to get out of the house with someone new.
What do you think? Convenient dating: a big fat no or a big fat ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ or maybe a big fat, yea girl, get the attention wherever you can get it!