Before we begin, I have a confession to make: I went back to online dating. But, I swear, it’s not what you think. Before rape joke guy and before my trip to Costa Rica in September, I heard about a dating app called The League. It was touted as being “exclusive” since there’s a waiting list, and it connects to both your LinkedIn and Facebook profiles to prove that you’re legit (no bots there!).
I joined aforementioned waiting list BEFORE I had forsaken online dating, so when the email came through two months later and two weeks ago that I had been “accepted,” I was pretty hesitant to say yes. Maybe, though, this was the universe’s way of saying, “Don’t give up on dating/online dating just yet!” so I hit the install button. I mean, I was grandfathered into this decision!
And, quite honestly, the app isn’t half bad. At the 6 o’clock cocktail hour, you get three matches, each with six pictures and info pulled from Facebook and LinkedIn, only some of which you can change after your profile is created. I’ve matched with a handful of guys, and have had only one conversation which lead to one date…so far.
When Mr. League and I first started talking online, he was on his way to Thailand for a solo vacation. Can we say perfect for me?!?! After he got back, we made a plan to meet up. And that we did last night. He was really easy to talk to, complimentary, funny, very smiley, and open-minded. I met up with Mr. League at 5:15 and I left his car (in the general vicinity of my apartment) at 11:00. It was a nearly 6 hour date!
I am guilty of having gone on marathon dates before. And why do I say guilty of them? Because I don’t actually know if they’re a good thing. Yes, being with someone for hours and hours, not wanting the date to end is obviously a good thing. And while it’s better than wanting to end the date as soon as your chemistry clashes in the first 10 seconds, I wonder if it makes me too attached. No, I’m not writing Mr. League + Ashley with a heart around it yet, but when I’ve gone on marathon dates in the past, I tend to reallllly like that person. As you may remember, I tend to jump into relationships with two feet first, when I should start with just a big toe. If I like you, I like you. I don’t want to date other people. This typically ends up being too much too soon (obvs???). Maybe the solution, though, isn’t to stop having fun marathon dates, it’s to not be so *in love at first sight* with those guys. I don’t know, my friends, this one is tough for me!
So, what do you think…
- Did I make the right choice to listen to the universe and get back online (just to this one tiny dating app, I promise)?
- Are marathon dates good or bad?
I’m gonna drop this quote I read right here to help you make up your mind…
We have some pretty crazy views on how love is “supposed” to go. “Finding someone to date is supposed to be this magical thing that just happens,” Dr. Bonior says. “You’re not supposed to be calculating about it. It’s just supposed to happen. So if someone is making love a goal, it goes against our notions of what romance is meant to be like.” –refinery29.com