When my mom was 30, she was married with a 10 year old and a 5 year old. She owned a grand house in a quaint little town and had found the job she still has today. That was 1988. 

Fast forward to 2013 and here I am at 30…no husband (and nary a prospect), no children, no house, no quaint little town, and I’ve had 4 “real jobs” since I left college. But, I do have a lot and for that I’m grateful. The new 30 – here in the 21st century – means doing what YOU want when YOU want it. Switch jobs ‘til you’re happy? Go for it! Live in another country? You betcha! 

I love that I’ve had such a fun and diverse life, but I often wonder what would’ve happened if I’d never had the notion to travel or if I’d married my college sweetheart. Would I have been content? Would I have been happy?

I’ll never know, but I can be glad that I lead the life I do. With good friends, a wonderful family, rent due on the 1st, and a grand ol’ dating life, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. If I’d lived this life in 1988, I’d be considered a spinster, but 2013 gives hope to the free-lovers…go have fun, then figure out your life. 

Here’s a piece I wrote when I was in HK coining “The New 30”.

For the past two months, I’ve been in some degree of pain practically every day. It’s put me in multiple different medical offices with no final answers. It began with some upper arm irritation and since it wasn’t my whole muscle, it was most likely caused by the nerves. I’d had a similar sensation a year ago and my chiropractor uncle fixed me up real quick. When it happened again, off to a new chiropractor in the city I went, where I was put on a biweekly dose of massage therapy and chiropractic adjustments. But the pain got worse. Some days, I’d get terrible headaches, one day my left pinky finger went numb, and that same upper arm irritation came back for about 5 hours preceded by discomfort in my left forearm.

Was it possible that my newly-found obsession with grinding my teeth at night was the culprit? I’m wearing a night guard now and bought a pillow to help align my neck while I sleep. Can I blame the bump in my upper neck at the base of my skull? My chiro diagnosed this “bump” as a transverse process – the bony part of your vertebrae that should be symmetrical, but in my case was most likely slightly off-kilter. Even to this day, to the touch, this bump is really sensitive.

At its worst, I was having consistent headaches which started at the crown of my head, leading to my jaw, the back of my neck, and as far down as my shoulder blade – all on the left side. I continued to see my chiropractor and massage therapist, but the pain thrived. An X-ray revealed that my cervical spine is straightened and not curved like it’s meant to be; whether that’s something that has developed over time or I was born with it, I’m not too sure. A later MRI revealed that I have the beginning stages of arthritis in my C1, C2, and C3 vertebrae most likely affiliated with the neck straightening.

It also showed something that gave both my chiropractor and myself pause: a probable cyst at the base of my skull. Was this the cause of the headaches? Does it need to be surgically removed? All questions for a neurologist! Off to the second doctor I went. The neuro reviewed my MRI results and said there was nothing to be concerned about, the cyst was most likely there from birth and wouldn’t be the reason why I was getting headaches. Actually all good news came from the neurologist. She saw no reason for worry and sent me on my way to a physical therapist who could help loosen and simultaneously strengthen the muscles in my neck.

More good news: the headaches have more or less disappeared leaving me with residual discomfort in my upper back, neck, jaw, or head at times. I went to the PT for the first time yesterday and she seemed positive that she could help.

I’ve spent hundreds of dollars (thank goodness for insurance or it would would be thousands) and told my story at least half a dozen times to different medical professionals. I still don’t know why this pain manifested, but a way to live with it and quite possibly diminish it altogether will be the best end result I could ask for at this point.  

In college, being a Kappa was really fun; not only did it bring plenty of social opportunities, it also was the perfect way to make friends. Throw 50 girls in a house add water and voila! instant friends. And for the four years of college, that proved true for many girls. It’s the aftermath – the post-college era – that proved to be the difficult part: how to stay friends with people whilst living in different states, different countries, and different stages of life.

According to Facebook, that “Kappa Konnection” proved strong enough to sustain friendships for many of my Kappa sisters. They’re bridesmaids for the Kappa bride, they attend Homecoming together, and throw each other baby showers. My konnection didn’t withstand the test of time with a single Kappa from Wesleyan until I moved, of all places, to Hong Kong. Here, I met several Kappas from other universities and whether or not we became fast friends or mere Facebook friends, these ladies became an important part of my time overseas. One girl helped me in my first few weeks in Asia (P.S. I teared up reading this oldie!), another introduced me to new friends, and all of them were fun girls to share a Thursday night cocktail hour.

While I may not have remained forever friends with these Hong Kong Kappas, it did demonstrate the value of joining a sorority. In the spirit of making new friends, I’ve joined the Kappa alumna loop group here in Chicago where I’ve participated in activities like book club and dinners out. Again, I’ve met nice girls with whom I’ve gotten along for the two hour events, but haven’t made the konnection that I’ve been searching for with my fellow sorority sisters.

But, I think I may have finally found my Kappa groove by joining the advisory board at the Loyola chapter. I’m advising a college junior, Fran, who is the Education officer; within this role, I help Fran plan events that teach girls about the history of KKG and importance of the fraternity. We recently had Founders Day which celebrated the six women who began Kappa Kappa Gamma at Monmouth College 143 years ago. Before the celebration, I sat through a chapter meeting with the undergrads. Surrounded by 100 girls with a kommon purpose helped me remember why I became a Kappa in college: the komraderie, the friendship, and the fun. Despite not having everlasting friendships from my Kappa experiences, I can be very thankful for the four great years I spent at 105 E. Graham St. and the new experiences I’ve gained as an alumna. So, I’ll say it again, thank heavens I’m a Kappa!

I’ve been a bit of a sad sack since the break up, but when a video popped up on my Facebook newsfeed, I instantly thought, “I need this in my life.” The video states that success does not lead to happiness, but happiness does lead to success. In order to get happy, the speaker mentioned a few techniques:

1.    Every day write down 3 things that made you happy throughout the day

2.    Write a journal piece

3.    Send a note to a friend as a random act of kindness

4.    Exercise

5.    Meditate

 

“C’mon get happy,” I told myself! So, on Wednesday, I started writing down three things that made me happy that day and either wrote a journal about an event that occurred or did a random act of kindness by writing a note to a friend/family member who impacted my day. And guess what, it made me happy…or at least happier than a crying girl who can’t stop thinking about her ex!

 

Here are (most of!) my happinesses in the past week:

 *Wednesday, July 10

1.    Having a happy household to come home to

2.    Having Kira in my life when I need a friend most

3.    My parents checking in on me consistently to make sure I’m happy

*Thursday, July 11

1. Having dinner with Betsy was wonderful – we have so much in common and I’m happy to say that I’ve made a new friend in Chicago!

2. I’m also grateful for my coworker, Janelle, who not only made the drive to/from work more enjoyable, she makes each and every day at work a little brighter. Another new friend!

*Friday, July 12

1.    Everything about work today was great!

2.    Had dinner with Caitlyn tonight. Drove out to the burbs and hung out family style.

3.    Found Pink Lemonade Sorbet – it was scrumptious.

*Saturday, July 13

1.    Today’s work party was a total success! I felt very proud leaving work today.

2.    My mom made the trek into the city today to watch The Jungle Book with me. I’d planned to go with Mario for his birthday, so when we broke up on Monday, the first person I thought to invite was my mom…and very glad I did.

3.    The show was awesome! Great music, cool dancing, fun acting. All in all a great performance.

*Sunday, July 14

1.    I saw Elise today; it always makes me happy to be around her.

2.    My dad threw a great family fun party for the Lions Club. I’m proud of him!

*Monday, July 15

1.    I didn’t have a single tear today and I only thought about Mario 677 times all day! Ha! Actually, it was a pretty good single girl day.

2.    I opened up a library card today! Yay! I love to read, but have been neglecting it in my life lately.

3.    After months of declaring that I need to get my pants hemmed, I finally made the time and effort to drop them off, as well as a dress that I want shortened. They’ll be ready just in time for London!

*Tuesday, July 16

1.    Got a massage today and it was amazing. Best Groupon ever.

2.    Kira and I hung out at her house tonight. Had dinner, got a few Keaton hugs, and chatted for hours. I’m really lucky to have Kira in my life and in Chicago.

3.    Finally booked a tourist attraction for the UK – Windsor, Bath, and Stonehenge here I come!!

*Wednesday, July 17

1.    After work today I went to a yoga studio to learn about their 500-hour yoga teacher training program. It looks expensive and time consuming, but at least I made the choice to learn more and maybe go through with it. The best part is the classes are at my speed, so I just may do it…we’ll see!

2.    It might have been a heat index of 97* today, but my little AC unit kicks ass.

3.    Ate a cupcake. It was delicious. Awesome roommate.

*Thursday, July 18

1.    Today was my last day of work until August 5^th! Woo!!!

2.    Tonight, Betsy and I took a Latin Dance Class. It was fun and I actually have a bit of rhythm. Wouldn’t say I’m a natural, but I’m glad I found a new activity to do!

3.    Talked to my best friend Katie tonight on the phone. Love our catch-up phone dates!

 

Who needs to be sad when there’s so much happiness out there!

It has been about a year since I made the decision not to teach, quite a big claim from someone who’s spent over $100,000 getting two degrees in education. Since August, I’ve been asked many times if I miss teaching and if I’ll ever go back, and, surprisingly I’ve had rare moments where I truly find myself missing being a teacher. Usually these moments come when I get emails from my Hong Kong kiddos telling me how much they miss me. Check out this one that I got recently:

Dear Miss. C. I miss you very much. How are you in America? What is your job now? I can’t believe that I am going to camp next Wednesday. I am going to Cheung Chau. I am going to bike, indoor climbing, Night hike and morning hike, and we are going to BBQ in the evening.

Hope you will have a wonderful night and day.

Sherry

and

hayy miss c, How’s America??? I miss u for bing the best teacher EVER!!! We still talk about you!! 🙂 Do you still remember me?? [he inserts his full name here] heres a pic LOLZ!!! Send me a email soon plz plz plzzzz!!! Thanks, Bye (P.S. Please don’t judge my teaching skills from the terrible grammar and spelling!)

A very big part of me misses my students and misses having kids to take care of and love me back. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy my job now, but I definitely wish I had more of a chance to work with students. That’s why I’d really like to find a volunteer position working with kids. Next week, I’m also taking a yoga teacher training to work with kids – exciting!

So, to answer those aforementioned questions: no, I don’t really miss teaching all that much, and maybe someday I’ll go back to the classroom. But, for now, I’ll be perfectly content working for my job planning programs for 85,000 girls to enjoy.