The Heart of the Heart

Recently, I met a boy. Huge shocker that I’m writing about it, yes, I know. This time, though, something different has happened. Our first date was pretty great; we met for drinks and stayed until the bar closed. Both of us knew – because we both said it out loud later – that the chemistry between us was unlike something we’d felt in a long time. And I don’t mean just physical chemistry. I mean the kind of chemistry that when he would talk, I would listen; he would get my full attention; we didn’t need phones or drinks or anything else to make the conversation work with ease.

I’ve written before about what I’m looking for in a mate, and after multiple years and multiple dating articles both read and written, I think my former list was rather shallow. Or maybe instead of shallow, it was incomplete. It didn’t get to the heart of the heart.

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4. Be prepared for the tests.

After brunching with some girlfriends recently, one of them sent me an article titled “How to Manifest Your Dream Relationship” in response to the topic we always find ourselves talking about: men. Mainly, the never-ending stream of weird men in my life because both of these lovely ladies have lovely men in their lives who don’t do or say weird shit.

As I read through the the list, #1 & #2 were easily checked off.

  1. Know your worth – check. My family, friends, and therapist help keep me grounded on this one.
  2. Know what you want – and also what you don’t – check. I’ve talked about it in a blog post about my Top 5 “Most Wanted List” and I’ve been on enough dates to know what’s right for me and what’s not, despite being admittedly bad at sticking by that wisdom.
  3. Think small. This is hard for me because I always write a story in my head (and sometimes on my computer) about the guys I meet. But, I will confess, I am working on this. My big project is no longer “getting married”, but a bite-sized chew of “move to Oak Park and find a man who’s okay with that”.

The real epiphany happened when I read #4: Be prepared for the tests.

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Adulting: Buying a Condo, Part III: …in the SUBURBS

I love Chicago. It took me a few years, a bunch of new friends, and multiple jobs I enjoy for me to like it, but I have learned to love this city. With its cultural sites, multitude of parks, plethora of exciting restaurants, and never-ending new bar scene, Chicago is pretty great. Yet, when I decided it was time to buy a condo, Oak Park was my #1 choice. There are multiple reasons why OP seems to be the place for me at this time in my life, and the biggest one is I wanted a community (i.e. a place I could call home, a vibing yoga scene, good schools for my future children, friends nearby, and so on).

At the same time that I’m excited to move to Oak Park, I’m also sad as can be to leave Chicago. I know it’s not far – technically 10 minutes by train! I admit I have stated on many occasions how much I disdain the suburbs. But, OP is cool, I promise! Sure, there are a few chain restaurants that end in an ‘s, but not very many! And there’s a booming downtown with nary a strip mall in sight. There’s a restaurant scene, and a bar scene, and (hopefully!) a singles’ scene. So while I loathe the suburbs, I don’t think of Oak Park as a suburb – it’s more like an extension of Chicago. A sparkly, expensive, pretty extension of Chicago.

And while it’s not far from the city (it even touches Chicago!!), it’ll be a little trickier to go to all of the places I really like here on a regular basis. So, I’ve made a Chicago bucket list! I leave Chicago in just over a month, so let me know if you want to join me in saying “See you soon! It’s not forever! I promise I’ll be back real soon!” at one of these places.

Continue reading Adulting: Buying a Condo, Part III: …in the SUBURBS

Sex and the City was 20 Years Ago, but the Dating Scene is Still the Same :(

I started watching Sex and City again. This time, from the very beginning. Season 1 Episode 1. 2018 marks the 20th anniversary. And while the characters don’t have cell phones, Facebook, or constant contact with their “friends”, it’s quite interesting how much we have in common: in both eras women just want to find love, but the men out there are slim pickings.

This past weekend, my grandparents, parents and I were watching some home movies. Everyone was so happy in the movies. Both my grandparents and parents laughed at the fun they were having with all of their kids. The VHS recordings made me want to have children even more than my little eggs and hormones already tell me I do. I want that same happiness my family had and still has. Someday, I want to have my own home movies to watch with my children and grandchildren.

Continue reading Sex and the City was 20 Years Ago, but the Dating Scene is Still the Same 😦

Adulting: Buying a Condo, Part II: Yep, I’m Single

I haven’t talked about it much to many people, unless you’ve asked me point blank, but the rumors are true: I found a condo!! Firstly, yup, I’m super jazzed. I’m now addicted as f#$k to Pinterest, Craigslist, and OfferUp. I bought a graph notebook and have been playing around with ideas for how I want to set up each room…

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…complete with little graph paper furniture that I can rearrange.

Continue reading Adulting: Buying a Condo, Part II: Yep, I’m Single

Taking Chicago by storm…one date, one yoga class, one salsa lesson, one blog post, one trip, one drink, one meal, one new friendship at a time.