Living Life and Yoga, Too

Me Llamo Ashley

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When choosing my high school courses, the consideration I took into my foreign language decision was twofold:

1. Which language is prettier – French or Spanish?

2. Do I want to visit Paris or Mexico?

Conspicuously missing was the most important question: how useful is each language? In my defense, Spanish wasn’t as widespread as it is now. Signs and answering services were only in English; there was no “press 1 for English; presione dos para Español”. 

After deciding upon how gorgeous the Eiffel Tower surely must be, I chose to take French. For all four years of high school, I studied conjugations, determined the difference between Gauguin and Matisse, and discovered the power of Pierre et Fifi. At the end of high school, I was certain I’d get my degree in international business and French. And thennnn I took a semester of it in college and realized I suck at foreign language. I’m quite good – even still – at reading it, but I am awful at both speaking and understanding spoken language. I fulfilled my one-semester foreign language requirement and tossed all knowledge from my brain. The one and only time since then that I’ve used my French was the three days I spent in Paris this summer. I could have no conversations, but I read those menus damn well! And as much as I adored Paris, I probably won’t ever need my French again. 

Fast forward 15 years to 2013…I’m living in Logan Square and dating a Latino. Spanish has become much more prevalent in the world. Based on my previous language-learning experience, I couldn’t very well expect to be a master, but the relevance of the language presented itself to me. Despite no longer dating aforementioned Latino (though, side note, the search bar in POF is set on Hispanic haha), my interest in learning Español has remained. I don’t expect to know it well or to learn it quickly, but I am doing my part to learn it in small quantities. I recently downloaded an app called Cat Spanish, borrowed Pimsleur’s Spanish recorded CDs from the library, and use live online tutors on a website called Live Mocha. I even have my own personal tutor: my Little Sister who has vowed to teach me a Spanish phrase each time we meet; she’s very excited that I’m learning it! 

So while French may come in handy in my dream life in Paris, I’m hoping that Spanish will help me decipher signs throughout the neighborhood and maybe even get me a new Latin lovah. 😉

Dating

All the Picky Ladies

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As a single, unmarried 30 year old, I often wonder why I haven’t found “the one”. Is it because I haven’t encountered the right guy for me? Maybe fate wanted me to be a writer voicing my dating saga for other single ladies to commiserate with. Or maybe, I’m just too darn picky. I don’t want to settle for just anyone, so I feel like I’m simply looking out for my best interests, but in the light of day this looks eerily similar to being far too picky. 

As evidenced in my last blog post, I have oodles of fish from which to choose. A friend texted after reading said post and said, “Wow, you are being fussy!” But is it fussy, or is it choosy? Isn’t it good to have criteria instead wasting my time with every lazy dude who just types “hi ;)”?

Many of my girlfriends say (and I’m guilty, too, of course) that it’s easy to pick one thing about a guy that immediately turns them off. Drunk dials? Goodbye! Doesn’t know modern trivia? Adios! Bad at texting? See ya!

These may be silly (though true) examples, there are plenty of real reasons to ditch a dude that won’t prove you’re picky, but instead tout how smart you really are. So how do you know when you’re being too picky vs. looking out for your best interest?

I don’t quite know the answer to this, but until I find out, I’ll continue to vet through those POF profiles like it’s my job, judge first dates too harshly, and find something wrong with just about every guy. Because isn’t it better to be single than with a guy I don’t like? At least, I’ll keep telling myself that until desperation sets in…

Dating

36-Hours of Plenty of Fish

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Within a 36-hour span, I received over 30 unsolicited and unrequited messages on POF from random dudes in Chicago. The guys ranged from 25-45 years old, from clean-cut to tattooed and bald, and with all different professions. The only thing they had in common were their awful, awful ability to send thoughtful, intelligent, or witty messages. Here’s a collection of all of the winners (with some Ashley commentary alongside):

  • Hey sexy what’s up with u. (Oh hey, we just met, glad you’re calling me sexy…not!)
  • Hi Ashley (Wow, you found my name – good detective work! Now what else do you got?)
  • Message me back if you want to have a good conversation. (Confident, aren’t we?)
  • HEY HOW ARE U :). (CAPS MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT!)
  • Heyyy (Noooo)
  • Hi (Original, very original)
  • Sounds like you had a fun time traveling and some good stories to go with it.  What was your favorite thing about Southeast Asia?  Im Elias. (Okay, he tried. But I still hate that he forgot the apostrophe.)
  • When I fly home I would love to meet you. (Kinda forward, don’t ya think?!)
  • Hi Ashley, I’m new to the site. Came across your page and you seem like fun & warm person I’d like to get to know. So what are you passionate about?..What brought you to Hong Kong?..What does child event planning entail? Best, Rio (At least it was a real message, but my passion? Not talking to dummies.)
  • Beautiful smile. (Thanks? What now?)
  • Hey. (Same guy 20 minutes later:) Hi. (So glad you can’t remember that you JUST emailed me.)
  • Hello [with a rose emoticon]. (Aw, a rose?! Just for me???)
  • Just stopping to say hey.. Glad to hear your like living in Chicago. Where are you originally from?  You seem like a cool down to earth person. Could I be wrong? Eddie. (Nope, you’re not wrong about that, but you are wrong with your grammar.)
  • Hey, Cute smile! How are you? You definitely caught my eye just seeing if there is a way to catch yours? (Sent 11/29). Hey, Cute smile! How are you? You definitely caught my eye just seeing if there is a way to catch yours? (Sent 12/4 from the same guy). (Wow, dude, you tried really hard to copy-and-paste that sh!t.)
  • Wow. Love ur profile, we need to meet up. (No we dont <— see how I didn’t spell that correctly?)
  • Hey there.  How are you? (I’m good, thanks. Okay, bye!)
  • Hi Ashley, where are you from? I want to visit China one day, seems like it would be fun. (You’d fit right in what that cigarette dangling out of your mouth!)
  • Hello Ashley 😉 (Winks. Jokes.)
  • Hola amiga, how is your evening thus far? (How did you know I’m learning Spanish?!)
  • hey how are u i mray im 34 i know ur in chicago im in south burbs wondering if u like to chat wel lhope to hear from u rsay (ur a terrible speller. dun.)
  • Hi there! And welcome back to Chicago…I’m sure we are glad to have you here. Are you originally from the area? (Thanks! And, we are.)
  • Good morning. My name is Paul. Would you like to talk/chat? That is when you have some free time? (No thanks? I don’t want to chat?)
  • Hello how are you (Yup, another one…)
  • You are kinda really gorgeous 🙂 I would like to get to know you. (“Kinda really”? I guess I’ll take it.)
  • you seem cool from your profile, pretty down to earth. What nationality are you? (How do I answer that? Scandinavian? American?)
  • So adorable! Feel free to message me anytime you wish. (I don’t wish.)
  • Hey what’s up (Another boring one for good measure.)
  • Very nice pictures how are you doing today? (I’m good thanks how are you glad to hear it)
  • hey how’s it going? what do you think of this site so far? (Read the last 29 message I got, dude. How do you think it’s going?)
  • Hi, nice smile:) (Nice wink^~) in front of the gym mirror.)
  • Uh oh (My personal favorite that made it in just in the nick of time.)
Living Life and Yoga, Too

A Month of Thanks

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With the spirit of Thanksgiving embracing November, every day this month I wrote down one thing for which I was grateful. This is a great tradition done by many of my Facebook friends and something I also completed in 2011.

Day 1: Got on a plane today to Boston to visit my friend, Steve. I’m thankful that the travel bug has bitten me.

Day 2: I am so lucky to have friends that live all over the world and the U.S. In the past year, it means that I’ve had free accommodation in California, London, and Boston. Next on the list: Texas and Nashville (if you’ll have me!)

Day 3: I am more than grateful for my time in Hong Kong for it made me adventurous, independent, and happy. It also brought me to Chicago!

Day 4: I adore travel, but I also love home. After a very fun four days in Boston, it feels great to sleep in my own bed, lie on the couch watching the DVR, and to eat a home-cooked meal.

Day 5: Happy 1 year anniversary to my job! Feeling very grateful today for this past year thanks to a job that I love.

Day 6: Got dinner tonight with friends from Hong Kong. It was fun to reminisce and I look forward to getting to know each other more.

Day 7: Yoga! I might not have fulfilled my yoga teaching prophesy yet, but I still love it.

Day 8: Chicago has an awesome cultural scene; I’ve been to shows in small theatres, festivals with awesome food, and to tons of museums. Today I saw a very sad, but mighty show at The Den called Shadow Town about sex trafficking in Chicago – scary stuff, man.

Day 9: Today, I’m thankful for friends new and old. I had dinner with my lovely friend Kira whom I’ve known for over 20 years. I’ve also made this wonderful little group of friends from my softball team who on a daily basis make me laugh in our group chats.

Day 10: Sunday, glorious Sunday. I love days when there’s nothing to do, but relaxation time.

Day 11: I’m grateful for my sense of humor which allows me to laugh at the ridiculous dates I’ve gone on. Otherwise, I’d probably cry…

Day 12: So thankful that normal guys do exist.

Day 13: I’m glad for the interesting work project that has lead me all over Northwest Indiana. Oh, and I’m certainly happy for my paid-off car.

Day 14: Betsy and I took our first salsa class, so I’m grateful for a bit of natural rhythm and fun dance class. And, of course, a friend to dance with!

Day 15: Spent my Friday night spreading my love of travel to the Girl Scouts.

Day 16: My family! Eight of my female family members came to the city to see A Christmas Carol with me. Such a fun day!

Day 17: As much as I randomly miss Hong Kong, I’m happy to be back home and close to my family so I can see them often.

Day 18: Locked myself out of the house today. Thankful that my roommate let me steal her keys and that the taxi ride was only $21 to pick them up instead of the $50 it would’ve cost to get the lock opened.

Day 19: I love my DVR. That is all.

Day 20: I adore days when I can sleep in! Don’t work ‘til 1:00 today, so I’m hanging out in bed all morning writing blog posts and chatting with friends.

Day 21: Today, I was all sorts of sick. Two doctors, three prescriptions. So thankful that I have insurance and that good healthcare exists in America.

Day 22: Got free tickets to the circus; glad my parents and roomie could join me!

Day 23: So glad to have made new friends since I moved to Chicago! Didn’t want to sit at home on a Saturday night, so texted a new friend and got drinks.

Day 24: I’m knee-deep in volunteer opps: Mikva Challenge and Big Brothers Big Sisters are my newest projects.

Day 25: Mmmm I love sleep. Is there a trend??

Day 26: My plans got cancelled today at the last minute. I love city life and that I’m so close to lots of things, specifically walking-distance to the Walgreens for a bottle of wine and a frozen pizza.

Day 27: Spent the day with my beautiful niece, Elise. Very, very grateful to be near this sweet girl.

Day 28: Happy Thanksgiving! Thankful to spend the day with my funny family today.

Day 29: Today was free laundry day at my parents’ house – woo hoo!

Day 30: I have a wonderful group of high school friends who got together today. It’s been 11 years since we parted ways, yet we always seem to find ourselves getting together around the holidays and for big occasions. Very blessed to still have them in my life.

Living Life and Yoga, Too

Big Sister

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Today I met my Little Sister from Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) for the first time! I was so so so excited to meet her and the anticipation of 5 months of waiting was all worth it because she’s amazing. (To protect her identity and her story, I’ll call R.) I think that if I was 9 again, R and I would be friends. She was me at her age. R is the sweetest kid I’ve met. She was all of my favorite students (and, yes, teachers have favorites) all rolled into one. I would have loved to have her in my classroom. Can you tell that I like her a lot?!?!

Let me start from the beginning. Earlier this year, I was feeling the itch to be around kids again. I miss my students so much and my job is planning for girls, but not being around them much, so I decided to investigate Big Brother Big Sisters. Little did I know that it would take 5 months of patience and waiting. In June, I applied to BBBS. The application included multiple questions including why I wanted to take part in the program, what I wanted out of it, information about my background, etc. A few weeks later I attended an orientation which shared more about the process and how it all worked. They told me 90 days max until I’d get matched.

Continue reading Big Sister →

Living Life and Yoga, Too

The New 30

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When my mom was 30, she was married with a 10 year old and a 5 year old. She owned a grand house in a quaint little town and had found the job she still has today. That was 1988. 

Fast forward to 2013 and here I am at 30…no husband (and nary a prospect), no children, no house, no quaint little town, and I’ve had 4 “real jobs” since I left college. But, I do have a lot and for that I’m grateful. The new 30 – here in the 21st century – means doing what YOU want when YOU want it. Switch jobs ‘til you’re happy? Go for it! Live in another country? You betcha! 

I love that I’ve had such a fun and diverse life, but I often wonder what would’ve happened if I’d never had the notion to travel or if I’d married my college sweetheart. Would I have been content? Would I have been happy?

I’ll never know, but I can be glad that I lead the life I do. With good friends, a wonderful family, rent due on the 1st, and a grand ol’ dating life, I’d say I’m doing pretty well. If I’d lived this life in 1988, I’d be considered a spinster, but 2013 gives hope to the free-lovers…go have fun, then figure out your life. 

Here’s a piece I wrote when I was in HK coining “The New 30”.

Taking Chicagoland by storm…one date, one yoga class, one salsa lesson, one blog post, one trip, one drink, one meal, one new friendship at a time.