I fully admitted over a month ago that I was forming an unhealthy obsession with online dating and wanted to take a one-month break from the dating devil. Here’s what’s happened in the last 30 days:
Day 1 : I’m going through online-dating-withdrawals. It’s been less than a week since the last guy and I broke it off and I’m already jonesin’ for a date. Facebook had an ad for 70% off eHarmony. It’s the only dating site I haven’t conquered; I almost caved. Alas, I texted girlfriends instead and made dinner plans for Tuesday. Otherwise, my week is completely blank after work which means lots of yoga and a salsa night. Maybe I should get back on meetup.com to see if there’s anything going on out there in the world.
Day 3 : Started a list of ideas for a new blog – how to meet guys in real life. I asked my friends for their ideas, not only because I need their ideas, but because I need their ideas, if you know what I’m saying.
Inspired by my recent online dating hiatus, I emailed a few friends asking how about their experience with meeting guys in real life (aka IRL for you text-savvy folks). I posed the following questions to my friends and received some great responses and thought that this would make for a great post for what has apparently turned into my dating blog:
What pick up lines do you think would work? What has worked? Maybe it’s not a pick up line, it’s just the first thing you say. How do you get the ball rolling aka the conversation started?
Where do you meet guys in real life? Where do you suggest girls meet guys IRL? (ideas: volunteering, grocery store, etc.)
Are there types of events you can go to? (speed dating, speed friending)
Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the guts to do?
Have you ever done anything in real life and IT WORKED?!
The resounding result from this survey was that girls need to have some guts to get the guys! Guts = guys! We girls choose not to approach a guy because we’re afraid of rejection (maybe he’s married, maybe he thinks I’m not cute enough, maybe he’ll say no, maybe he’ll be a jerk about it, etc.), but as one guy friend* put it: “If the guy takes it negatively, they probably got bigger drama you wouldn’t want to deal with anyways.” *I also asked a few guy friends to give me their perspective.
I’m going cold turkey…with online dating. Whenever I’m not dating someone, I’m dating my phone. I haven’t taken a break from dating – a real break – since, well, years! So today I declare that I will be one month free of online dating. That might not sound like a lot to you married and/or in love folks, but trust me, us single ones in 2014 have found out that online dating is our lifeblood. It’s our connection to the opposite sex, maybe our one true chance at true love.
What are you going to do with yourself? you might ask. I’m going to do me. So that means more yoga, reading, volunteering, salsa dancing and starting up my Spanish again. I’m also really excited to look at places in Latin America to learn Spanish in December next year. Most importantly, I need to work on my positivity and happiness. As the saying (sorta) goes: men can’t buy you happiness.
So single friends, who’s up for the challenge?? I think a big celebratory dinner is in order at the end of this month…before we get online again after one month and one minute 😀
Oh and if I do end up meeting someone in real life to go on a date with, even better! This is a hiatus from online dating, not real life connections.
There are many things I miss about Hong Kong, but most often I miss my gorgeous group of girlfriends. They were my family and the people I could count on the most. Whether it was someone to gab over drinks with at 4:00 on a Tuesday, gals to go out with for free vodka on a Saturday night, or friends to hike up a mountain with on Sunday morning, my friends were always there for me.
I desperately miss these friends on my weekends in Chicago when I struggle with what to do with two free nights. I knew in Hong Kong that every Saturday night was ladies’ night. I didn’t have to think about what to do or worry that I’d be all alone; I always had them.
Of course I’ve made friends in Chicago, but there’s something about the lovely group of friends I made in Hong Kong that’s unbeatable. Most of us lived thousands of miles from our families and trekked to Asia only to have each other. If one of us was busy, we had the rest to rely on. When we made plans, it was in a group chat so everyone could join in and know the plan.
So as Thanksgiving nears, I want to give a shout-out to the loveliest friends a girl could ask for. Thanks for making my life in Hong Kong sweeter, more enjoyable, and something I miss each and every day. And thank you for still being wonderful even though it’s been two years and we’re thousands of miles apart xoxo
Girl Brain is the ever-present reason why girls act the way they do around boys. Reactions include, but are not limited to…
Constant checking of your phone. “Has he texted yet? How about now? Now? It’s been at least 3 minutes, maybe now?!”
5:03: “He texted me 1 hour after my last text, so I have to wait at least 1 hour to text him back.” 5:04: Continue to write out text, but wait until exactly 6:03 to press SEND!
Making up excuses for why he hasn’t texted. “His fingers got broken; he lost his phone in a fire; his phone got wiped clean because it fell in the toilet, etc. etc.”
Freaking out at various unnecessary moments, such as when he doesn’t ask you to hang out on Tuesday, but on Wednesday instead. “Does he have a date on Tuesday? If he has a date on Tuesday – which he probably does – I hope it’s awful and the girl gets broccoli in her teeth.” are all examples of what could most likely run through a girl’s brain.
All of these examples of Girl Brain are real. And they’ve all happened to me…probably in the last week. My friends are all afflicted with Girl Brain from time-to-time also. There are times when we don’t know why we are being senseless, but Girl Brain is the answer.
In an effort to write about more than just my dating life (yes, friends and family, I’ve heard you!), I decided to take on other topics that I enjoy writing. While in Hong Kong, I dabbled in restaurant and neighborhood reviews for Sassy Hong Kong. I’ve decided to do the same but for myself and in Chicago. So, here’s my first piece on Logan Square. Enjoy! P.S. If you’re ever interested in joining me in an adventure to a new neighborhood, let me know! I especially want to hang with people in the ‘hoods they know well!
Logan Square is best known for its mustachioed, skinny-jeaned, full-sleeved unicyclists. As a resident of this fine neighborhood for the last year-and-a-half, I can promise you that Logan Square is much more than hipsters who produce tasty craft cocktails. Milwaukee Avenue is chock-full of quaint shops, innovative bars, and mouthwatering meals. And all throughout this area there are restaurants and bars that won’t cost you a fortune and will leave you wanting to come back to Logan Square time and time again. So the next time you’re looking for some Puerto Rican rice, a cheap movie, or a white whiskey tipple, let me know and I’ll join you in the fab Logan!
Logan Square
Part One: The Bars
Let’s start this adventure with the most important reason you’ll find to come to the best Square Chicago has to offer…the Bars:
New City Life Adventure 