Category Archives: Dating

Sex and the City was 20 Years Ago, but the Dating Scene is Still the Same :(

I started watching Sex and City again. This time, from the very beginning. Season 1 Episode 1. 2018 marks the 20th anniversary. And while the characters don’t have cell phones, Facebook, or constant contact with their “friends”, it’s quite interesting how much we have in common: in both eras women just want to find love, but the men out there are slim pickings.

This past weekend, my grandparents, parents and I were watching some home movies. Everyone was so happy in the movies. Both my grandparents and parents laughed at the fun they were having with all of their kids. The VHS recordings made me want to have children even more than my little eggs and hormones already tell me I do. I want that same happiness my family had and still has. Someday, I want to have my own home movies to watch with my children and grandchildren.

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Should I Prioritize My Love Life?

Remember that one time I said I was ready to buy a condo? That was due in part to the fact that I was done focusing on finding a husband/relationship (you know, whichever comes first). I was never giving up on finding a mate, but I was no longer going to make it my sole focus.

Earlier this week, I saw a condo in Oak Park for a second time that I’m really digging. Driving there, I started to have a mini-panic attack. What was I doing?! Was I really going to replace my desire to find a man with my desire to buy a home? Was I really ready to give up on men being my #1 priority????

Okay, so of course, men were/are not my no. 1 priority, but finding one of my soulmates was/is up there on my to-do list. I know that by buying my own place it doesn’t mean I can’t still find and/or look for a mate, but it does take my thoughts away from the husband-finding process. Which, I KNOW is a good thing, but it’s darn scary! I’ve spent so much time and energy looking for *the one* that I think I’m going through withdrawals.

So, yea, guys, I’m freaking out a little. It’s definitely first-time-home-buyer jitters. But it’s also this worry that I’m making a mistake by not prioritizing my love life.

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Convenient Dating

Mr. League and I went on a 2nd date; this date, too, was a marathoner: a whopping 7 hours long! But after two marathon dates (totaling 13 hours), Mr. League vanished. Well, he didn’t complete fade into thin air like a ghost, but he did sorta just disappear intermittently. After a week of barely any conversation, I finally asked him if he wanted to hang out again…like ever. His response:

I do have a lot cooking right now, so I’m trying to keep some balance. Let me swing back to you when I’m ready.

Right…so while you’re chopping, stirring, and cooking, I’ll just twiddle my fingers and wait patiently. I’ll be on your timetable. No problemo.

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The League + Marathon First Dates

Before we begin, I have a confession to make: I went back to online dating. But, I swear, it’s not what you think. Before rape joke guy and before my trip to Costa Rica in September, I heard about a dating app called The League. It was touted as being “exclusive” since there’s a waiting list, and it connects to both your LinkedIn and Facebook profiles to prove that you’re legit (no bots there!).

I joined aforementioned waiting list BEFORE I had forsaken online dating, so when the email came through two months later and two weeks ago that I had been “accepted,” I was pretty hesitant to say yes. Maybe, though, this was the universe’s way of saying, “Don’t give up on dating/online dating just yet!” so I hit the install button. I mean, I was grandfathered into this decision!

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The Fictional Narrative

Tonight I went to a live taping of one of my favorite podcasts, Why Oh Why. It’s a show about relationships and dating. I swear sometimes the host is inside my head saying everything out loud for her listeners that I am thinking (and sometimes writing about). When checking in to the show, you got to pick a name tag for yourself: Hi I’m Single or Hi I’m Not Single. There were also numbered paddles for the singletons. After you gave a brief bio to the ticket-taker, she was meant to give the matching numbered paddle to your “wingman”. And while this was actually a misnomer, the point was to match a man and a woman together so they could start chatting and, of course, fall in love.

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Rape Jokes Aren’t Funny

Dear Lindy and Roxane,
Thank you for giving me the vehicle for finding out what a horrible man my date last night was. Before we even met in real life, let’s call him Rod, Rod made a “joke” about how he was going to bring “rufies” to our first date. I told him it was a terrible, terrible joke and that hopefully he was smacking himself on the forehead right at that moment. He couldn’t possibly have been serious, and certainly he was embarrassed by his lack of tact about a topic that IS. NOT. FUNNY. Of course, I knew this before I read both of your books (Lindy’s Shrill & Roxane’s Bad Feminist), but after having read both of your accounts about the absolutely not funny Daniel Tosh (watch this video to see more about the reference below), I felt empowered to have a conviction, that even if it’s a “joke”, rape isn’t funny, and pretending to bring a drug that allows you to rape someone isn’t funny.

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